Barack's Final Four

Mr. Obama, you have chosen your Final Four.

As I looked at your picks, I started to wonder.

Do any of your Final Four picks owe anything to the IRS?

Will the losers get a spot in your administration?

You promised a Louisville vs. North Carolina championship game. A week after March Madness begins, will you announce you really meant Pittsburgh vs. Wake Forest?

If certain teams are losing, will you offer them a 1 trillion point bailout?

What about the Underdog? I thought you cheered on the little guy! But you chose three #1 seeds and one #2 seed to reach the Final Four. That's like cheering on AIG when he faces the American taxpayer.

Your statistics scare me. Again, your choice of three #1 seeds sounds safe. But history is against you:

According to Columbia's statistics program, "exactly one or two #1 seeds have made the Final Four 19 of the last 24 years. " iSportslinks informs us that "there is an average of 1.7 number 1 seeds that make the Final Four each year." You chose three!

Are you using the same statistcal modeling to formulate policies? I sure hope not!

First weighing in on the NCAA Bowl Championship Series, now this? You are fast becoming our nation's coolest president (currently that would be Clinton because he appeared on The Arsenio Hall Show playing the sax and wearing sunglasses)

I skipped out on brackets this year. Have ever since I lost ten bucks in a bet in the seventh grade (I bet a friend that BYU would beat UTEP...not in March Madness, but I have never gambled since). I went hungry for two weeks since that was my lunch money for two weeks.

Now that you have read this, please know this was written completely in jest. Obama's choosing a bracket for the Final Four weds the two web sites I frequent most often: The Economist and ESPN.

Comments

That little gambling lesson - did that happen in El Paso? $10 was a hefty sum back in the day. I never got lunch money. I brown bagged it till my Sr year! Ahh, so lucky to have me "break in" the parents for ya!
The Bears said…
He didn't even pick Utah State to win one game. Don't expect my vote in 2012. He tried to sway me, by advancing Missouri pretty far, but I was not fooled!
The Bears said…
Oh and is he trying to get the Mormon vote... everyone knows BYU never makes it past the first round.
Andrew said…
That did happen in El Paso, hence the bet against UTEP (and who gambles on BYU).

I am a true blue Cougar fan, through and through. But indeed, the Cougars and the Jazz tend to choke.

Let's all enjoy the Aggies be the Cinderella team this year!
The Bears said…
Oh thanks Drew... I have my fingers crossed. My brother went to MU and if we make it past Marquette in the first round, I'll have the joy of playing against my second favorite (and my family's favorite) team!