Peter Knox's Birth Story

This is a really long, detailed story of when Peter was born.  

If I had stumbled upon this story, I might have been really interested if I had just given birth, or pregnant, and interested in giving birth naturally (which I just did, so I love these kind of stories).  Otherwise, I worry that you might get bored.

So, with that caveat, enjoy.

I never thought that I would give birth naturally.  I had actually feared it; this is probably due to numerous ugly T.V. dramatizations.  

I had experienced two fabulous epidurals and had no intentions of doing anything else.  Epidurals were purported as safe, and unmedicated birth was merely for women who liked to challenge themselves, like running an ironman triatholon.

Well, I had a dream about giving birth naturally (which horrified me), yet, I felt like it might be a good thing.  I was still scared.  So I started researching, and broke the news to Andrew.  Husbands sincerely do not want to see their wives in pain, and he was skeptical.  As we researched, and settled into the decision, the aversion left, with only a little fear cropping up every so often.

I had heard of hypnobirthing, so I checked out that book from the library and read it ragged.  I also stumbled upon the Bradley Method, which I felt impressed was the right way for me, so I studied that even more.  Regardless, I thought that women had been doing this for thousands of years without Mongan and Bradley, so I could too.

I practiced every day, not once, but every time the thought entered my mind.  I was a relaxation machine.  I practiced every way to relax, and breathed over all of my Braxton Hicks when they started at 6 months.  My lungs increased in capacity as I practiced breathing in for 20+ counts (try it, and then imagine your lungs compressed by a baby).  I was trying to breathe for the duration of my ‘surges’.  I did this for months.

The Bagley in me really liked the idea of unmedicated birth as I would save $1000 on the epidural.  Saving money is a natural high for me.

I also felt impressed that my birth would be short, and doable, so I pushed forward.

I felt that Andrew would not need to study as much as I did, so his biggest job was to cheer me on.  

Apparently, according to Bradley, you have three stages in labor: first, you are excited that you are beginning to give birth.  You can joke, laugh, work, and take pictures.  The second stage is serious.  It is the work of the labor.  The woman will be concentrating on her contractions and will not talk much. The third stage, is the hard stage.  It is the part that she gets indecisive, and wants to give up.  That is when you know that she is almost finished.  I told Andrew that is the part where he will have to be my cheerleader; just tell me I am doing awesome and am almost done.  The same cycle also occurs during the pushing phase.  As it turned out, he accidentally missed that part of my labor.  His cheering part.  The last part.

Back to the beginning.  I was seven days late.  I was always okay with being overdue, as I thought that it was healthier for the baby to stay with me, than be in the world.  I had read and believed it.  My baby was also small, and he needed to grow.  I had also read, and believed that the baby would know when to come, and I would wait for him.

Andrew was leaving, though, on a business trip, and I hoped that our boy would come before Andrew left, as I did not want to give birth with anyone else.  The time of the trip was getting close.

It turned out perfect.  I began contractions that actually had bite at about 8 p.m. Thursday night, November 1.

 I love that he came at night.  We had the children in bed, and Andrew would not miss much work.  We called my Mom a little bit later.  I finished watching the rerun of Project Runway All Stars, and we started off.  

I was still 10 minutes apart in contractions, which is a really long time.  Usually you might wait until you are 5 minutes apart.  However, I was Strep B positive, and wanted to get all of my antibiotics in before giving birth, so we went really early.  This was a blessing, because Peter came faster than expected.

All of my reading told me to stay at home as long as possible.  Andrew’s husband coaching manual said that his job was to keep me at home, because women usually want to leave too early.  If we did this, Andrew probably would have delivered the baby.  However, as I write this, I am looking at the doctor bill and thinking, that would have been a great thing, because it would have saved us an additional $1,500 for the doctor at the delivery.   

We got lost on the way to the hospital, but I was not worried, as I needed to progress in labor.  I did not want them to turn us away.  We were delivering in Idaho Falls instead of Rexburg.  We felt good about that hospital, and as it ended up, Madison Memorial in Rexburg did not take the baby’s insurance.

It took us an hour to arrive and we walked in after midnight.  The nurses were really nice, but the doctor looked at me (as in glanced at me in my clothes) and said that I should go home and come back on Monday.  That was discouraging as I was in labor.  He did not think that I looked big enough.  He measured me at 33 centimeters (he said that I should have been 41 centimeters), and tried to call for an ultrasound.  I did not want to get one (I am going to sound shamefully cheap again) because I knew the baby was okay, and I did not want to pay for one.  My doctor in Utah told me the baby would be about 7 pounds, and I always measured small.  This doctor exclaimed that he did not want to deliver a 4 pound baby.

Well, Peter Knox actually arrived at 7 pounds exactly.  He was perfect.  But I guess we are not there yet.

The nurse checked me and I was only 3 centimeters.  She said I could have been three centimeters for a long time since this was my third child so she kindly said that they would monitor me for an hour.  I did not want to be turned away so I walked like an Olympic hiker for the next hour.  In the meantime, Andrew gave me a blessing where he said the baby would come so fast the hospital staff would be surprised and he blessed Peter with health, which meant everything to me.  My whole life for 9 months had been dedicated to his health.

When the hour was up, they found me a half centimeter more dilated and kept me there.  Meanwhile, I had asked for the Strep B antibiotics which were the reason for my early arrival.  When the nurse left, I had Andrew turn on my relaxation CDs (thank you Lil), but could not concentrate for the nurses coming and going and monitoring.  Also, the antibiotics were uncomfortable, restrictive and cold.  So, being unable to really fall into Rainbow Relaxation, I could still breathe and breathe and breathe up and over my contractions.  My uterus was a balloon floating away.  I envisioned the pictures I had seen of the cervix opening and coming up over the baby’s head like a turtleneck.  With every contraction I worked to relax everything (it is interesting to think of relaxing as work, but it takes intense concentration) and let my uterus muscles (satin ribbons for all of you hypnobirthering fans) open up over my baby’s head like a turtleneck.  If I could picture that, I felt that each contraction was doing something important and I welcomed them.

As soon as they let me off of the monitors, I got into the jacuzzi tub.  The contractions were getting intense, but I was calm and breathing.  Andrew thought I looked good, so he left to get something to eat.  It was a really long time.  

I had never felt so alone, for in time that he was gone, the contractions got so intense that I was losing everything I had practiced.  I understood then how a surge can make you want to tense all of the muscles in your body, and cause more pain.  I watched and breathed and prayed alone in the tub.  I saw my stomach shudder.  As much as I tried to remain calm and quiet, I let out a great moan.  That is when Andrew came in.  He had been hanging out in the room (he regrets this).  He looked at me and called the doctors for he saw the baby crowning.

They pulled me out of the tub and directly onto the table.  Hence we have no pictures of our birth because I was completely naked, and gave birth a few pushes later.  

Andrew asked me as I was being pulled out of the tub if I had the desire to push.  I did not until he mentioned it.  Up to that point I still had resting time between contractions, so I thought that I still had a while to go.  I was relieved beyond words when Andrew informed me that the baby was coming.  I could do this.

Andrew and I had practiced pushing the way we saw in the Bradley book with me holding one leg and him holding the other.  I would breathe in and out deeply and then push for as long as I could.  Because of my intense breathe practicing, these were long breaths and even longer pushes.

I was going to ‘breathe the baby down’ as the hypnobirthing book said.  It sounded so much gentler for the baby.  However, again, I felt impressed beforehand that I was supposed to push so we did that.  

I tried not to push so hard that I would be torn, and tried to let the doctor and Andrew know, but I was injured anyway.

One surprise was that I could feel the baby coming out.  I had read (I apparently believe all things that I read) that the baby coming out numbed the perineum.  It did not.  It hurt.  It burned.  But not that bad (I write that 2 months later).

They gave me the baby immediately (the doctor was really nice once the baby was coming-I think he was just tired before).  I held him and we nursed.  Not long after that he cut the cord.  I wanted them to wait until it stopped pulsing, and I was surprised and a little sad that it was not a long period of time.   I continued to hold baby Peter as we pushed out the placenta and the doctor commenced to sew me up (sigh, the worse part of healing for me).

Two comments that he made while sewing that I should have commented on, “I forgot to count my instruments before sewing”.  And “This is not my best work, hopefully it turns out okay.”  But, I was too engrossed in baby Peter to say anything.  He was alert with huge blue eyes that still see everything.

I was left alone on the table for the next hour with my alert angel.  This was beautiful, but eventually kind of lonely as Peter and I got a little cold and sore (we were still both naked, and he had not yet been washed and weighed), and they had turned most of the lights off as it was 4 a.m.  Andrew had fallen asleep, and it did not occur to me to bother the nurses by pushing a button.  I did not want to bother any of them because I was sure that they were tired.

When Andrew woke up, Peter was blessed.  It was powerful.  He is the best of men.  I felt my ancestors were so involved in this birth.  I love the eternal views that birth brings.  I am so blessed to have Peter in my life.  The next day, we just reveled in the peace of the hospital and the breathe of heaven that comes with a strong, new soul.  This is the part where you feel your baby is perfect because he sleeps so well.  Mine was perfect.


Now, he is a happy baby who smiles a lot.  I expected that because I was told that he would be a happy person without guile.  He looks like me, but so far, I think I am the only one who can see that:).  He is named after the great apostle Peter, who I love, and I like to think that my Peter will be like.  I like to picture all of my children as great souls.  I think they are.  I know Peter is.